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how to survive a distance relationship

September 12, 2018

“According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication, people in long-distance relationships were more likely to share meaningful thoughts and feelings with their partners than those who were not.” – Huffington Post

 

 

 

 

They say that love conquers all but we also hear  felices lo cuatro (happy the four of us) by Maluma baby when we talk about long distance relation.

Well… I had two serious relationships in my entire life … (my entire life means 22 years). The first one was a distance relationship and the second one… the second one as well.

I know what you are all thinking. I have to play the lottery because I have all the luck from the world.

As I have a master’s degree in distance relations or atleast I’m training for the Olympics, I want to talk and share with you my experience and my advice on how to deal with a distance relationship.

My first relationship ended (as everyone has concluded otherwise there wasn’t going to be a second one). From that first relationship I learn a lot. I made lots of mistakes but I learned from each and every one of them.

The first is communication, important in any relationship. Communicate, express yourself, never keep anything inside. Scream what you like but also complain when you do not like it, when you are not comfortable.

It is very important to accept the independence of each one and to use it well. You cannot stay home without doing anything all day. Each one has their life, their things and their chores. There are no excuses. Live (The biggest mistake in my first relationship was I never get to live my life).

Fall in love every day, if the small details are always important … in the distance they are even more important. Every little thing (bad or good) is a big deal. So keep up.

Agree dates in advance to save yourself problems like omg the ticket costs 200€. In addition this makes you feel safer and motivated.

Trust, if they are going to cheat they will, distance has nothing to do with it. Trust and be patience. You have to be slow to anger and slow to jealousy. You have to show love to the other with respect and honesty. Don’t do what you don’t want others to do to you.

Compliment each other is super important. Good morning honey, today you’re great, have a wonderful day, call me later, I miss you … these simple words will help you a lot.

Do you support each other and grow with each other? It is important to be happy about the successes and happiness of your partner. You dont not have to feel bad or threatened because your partner is doing great, that doesn’t meanthey will leave us after tomorrow.

Positivity and future plans, the distance must be temporary. You cannot live like that forever. Some of the times you will meet, you will love each other a lot and will have all the sex you haven’t had the last month, but other times you will talk and argue, argue and talk until you fix your discrepancies.  And that’s okay.

Give in sometimes. In distance ego kills. Adapt yourself and do things that you know makes your partner happy. A small sacrifice is how I like to call it. That doesn’t mean changing as a person or becoming unhappy. They are sacrifices with and for love. If someone asks you to change who you are, please, send him/her away (yes even further) because that person is not for you.

Real love comes after we love ourselves. So the first advice is to love yourself a lot, without fear. Because the longest relationship that exists in this life is with yourself.

All the love,

Amaia

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